Get Out of Your Own Head and Lead

April 23, 2018

A recent graduate of The Reckoning checked in with me a few weeks after the session to say, “Everything has changed!  Just not in the way I thought it would.”  What surprised this executive leader was that as she got in touch with her personal power, she found herself getting quieter, not louder.  In meetings with her Board of Directors (a highly spirited crowd), she’s now less concerned with getting her two cents in than listening to what’s going on and offering reasoned remarks to lead people in the direction she wants them to go. 

This is the moment you become a leader: When you stop being driven by your own desires and momentary passions and the need to be heard and start listening to and observing the people around you.  Only then will you understand their desires and passions and needs, so that you can use this information to craft language that motivates them.  This is the way you guide a group toward a common goal—by making each individual feel like the mission belongs to them.

And you can’t do that by competing for attention or trying to overpower those around you to show them who’s in charge.  As the leader, you are in charge.  You don’t need to prove it to anyone, you just need to act like it—by listening and observing first.