How to Stop “Manterruptions”

October 26, 2021

Last week we learned that even female Supreme Court justices get interrupted (three times as often as male Supreme Court justices, according to a 2017 study from researchers at the Northwestern Pritzker School of Law). Not entirely surprising.

What surprised me was the response to this news. A particular opinion piece, written by Kara Alaimo, a professor of communications and former Obama administration official, caught my eye. (Read it here.) It made the case that women are interrupted more than men because “Our contributions simply aren't valued as much as those of men.”

Ok, yes. I’m with you so far.

And that in order to solve the problem, “When we see women interrupted, peers should step in and ask that they finish what they were saying.”

Wait, what?

Peers should step in? Are women really so oppressed that they can’t stand up for themselves? Apparently so. According to Alaimo, “…research shows that when women stand up for themselves they're more likely to be perceived negatively than when men do…”

Ok, this is where things tend to get off track. So I’m going to make a request. I’m going to ask that you not listen to this type of research. There’s a lot of it, and people love throwing it around, insisting that a woman who asserts herself will be seen as a “b——”.

My response: So what? Is it better to let your fear of being perceived negatively stop you from speaking? When you let your fear silence you, who wins?

And will you really be seen less negatively? No, you won’t. You’ll be seen as someone who backs down easily, and who is easy to dismiss.

Here’s what to do instead: When someone interrupts you, put up your hand and say “(Name of interrupter), let me finish.” And then keep talking. That’s it.

This doesn’t have to feel confrontational, or aggressive. You should simply be clear that you are not yet finished speaking.

And if you’re viewed “more negatively?” Too bad. The point is, Do you really believe that what you have to say should be heard, or not? If you do, then don’t let anyone silence you (and that includes you).

Of the 8% of American CEOs whom Alaimo notes are women, I promise you, not one of them allows herself to be interrupted.

So while we help men become aware of their interrupting and ask that they stop doing it (To his credit, Chief Justice John Roberts heeded that 2017 research and has changed the Supreme Court’s Q&A format to reduce interruptions), we women have to stop censoring ourselves.

The first time you stop an interrupter in his tracks, you will feel so powerful. Because that will be you being powerful. So give it a try. Your words deserve to be heard. And only you can make sure that they are.